Clay is the word and Clay is the flesh
by nibblexmyxnaan
Summary: 'Arthur, you could have it so much better my dear if you had never listened to us. We poisoned you and your happiness.'  Arthur is too close, too attached, he needs to step back and find his own family,  and stop trying to be apart of Cobb's.


"Clay is the word and Clay is the flesh."

Arthur/Eames/Cobb/Mal Oneshot

'This is real Mal. This is your life.'

She laughs sadly and gently touches your cheek and you shiver at the sudden contact of skin on skin.

'Arthur, you could have it so much better my dear if you had never listened to us. We poisoned you and your happiness.'

xoxo

Yesterday was summer.

Yesterday everything was different.

You weren't afraid they say. You were _always _afraid you say.

ooo

It wasn't the first time you sat in the poorly lit warehouse and asked yourself where had the time gone. You know that when you're on a job that time moves differently but this was just ridiculous. It seemed like only a few weeks ago since Cobb asked you to join his team, in reality it had been nearly six months.

ooo

Six months? They say.

_Six months _you say.

ooo

You watch as Mal and Cobb cuddled up underneath a blanket one cold October morning. You try not to stare; you try not to let them know that you long to be like them. Cobb rubs Mal's swollen stomach, a broad smile on his face.

'I hope it's a boy…do you think it's a boy?' he asks excitedly.

You look at the warm, lazy smile that graces Mal's beautiful face, a rosy glow on her soft cheeks.

'Do not hope Dom, you might be disappointed if it's not a boy.' She chided gently.

Dom looked over at you, a delighted smile painted across his lips.

'I can hope, can't I Arthur?'

You shook a knowing head and pretended that children were tedious, pretended that you didn't long for one of your own.

ooo

You shouldn't hope, they say.

But you want to hope, you say.

ooo

You want to know what you're looking for. You want to know why you have become the third wheel of a happily married couple. You hate that when Cobb and Mal book a table for dinner that they automatically include you in the reservation. You hate that they know that you have no one. There have been nights where you have lost yourself in the passion that never needs a wife but when you awake in the morning you know that what you have done is wrong, that it's dirty. You don't want to admit to yourself that you need a person and Mal is always praising the person who is married to the job, saying that they will have the best career in this business.

ooo

You don't need a wife, they say.

But you want a wife, you say.

ooo

When Philippa is born your life changes like the cloud-swung wind and you are not so sure now when Mal praised the man who married the dream. She is a beautiful baby, with all ten fingers and toes and you know that you should be honoured when Mal and Dom make you Godfather, but God you are lonely and it only rubs salt in the wound even more when they try desperately to include you in their perfect little family.

'Are you okay Arthur?' Dom asks you, not for the first time.

You nod and continue tapping away on your laptop, trying not to look at the small bundle of warm human flesh that he is holding, trying to ignore the aching of the one thing you want more than anything in this world; companionship.

'Are you sure?' he persists.

You let your eyes slide shut for a second and you decide there and then that it's none of Cobb's business; he doesn't need to know how unhappy you are.

'Yes, I'm sure. Now leave me alone, this research won't do itself.'

ooo

You're fine, they say.

You're fine, you say.

ooo

If only you had been wiser. You should have known a year and a half ago that getting close to your business partners would only end in tears. Mal is pregnant again and Dom wants to leave Paris.

'We're moving to L.A. We've a family now, we need to look after them.' He explains one morning over coffee.

You look up and down the beautiful Parisian streets, trying to breathe as normal, trying not to let Dom see how much this was hurting you.

'Okay.' You say slowly.

Dom raises an eyebrow and gives you his infamous squint.

'That's it? You're not going to put up a fight? You love it here!' he exclaims incredulously.

This time you squint, unsure of what Dom is saying.

'And I'll still love it here, even when you're gone.' You say slowly, your heart beating much too fast.

Dom's eyes widen for a second and he shakes his head, an apologetic look on his face.

'I thought you would move with us.'

'You assume that I have no life without you?'

Dom blushes and shakes his head again, quicker this time.

'No, not that, it's just…the business will be operating from L.A and well, you're the pointsman Arthur. We need you.'

ooo

We need you, they say.

I need you, you say.

ooo

Philippa and James. Dom and Mal and James and Philippa.

And you.

What a strange little family you are but you find yourself growing quite attached. Mal is like your mother and Dom your father, even though they are only 33 respectively and there are only seven years between ye. They love you though and you love them.

'We're hiring a new forger.' Dom tells you one morning over breakfast.

You look up from buttering James' toast and look from Dom to Mal in surprise.

'But Mal is as good a forger as any of the rest.' You insist.

'Yes but I have a family now Arthur, I can't continue with my reckless ways.' She says serenely.

Dom smiles up at her and she drapes an arm around his shoulder, bending down to place a gentle kiss on his lips.

'What's his name?' you ask, handing James his breakfast.

'Sean Eames.' Cobb answers.

'How did you track him down?'

Cobb smiles broadly and shakes his head.

'We didn't. It's up to you to find him.'

ooo

It's up to you, they say.

But they've already decided, you say.

ooo

Mombassa is hot and sticky and everything that you hate. It's crowded with people and animals. You push your way through the crowd until you make it to the bar. You sit down on an old battered stool and sigh.

'Sean Eames?' you ask the bartender.

The young man points over towards a bear of a man who was leaning with his head hanging out the window a few feet away from you. You nod in thanks and slide off the stool making your way over to Eames.

'Arthur Pickett, we spoke on the phone.' You announce before sitting opposite him.

Eames brings his head back inside the room and smiles at you, a smile that makes your stomach flip. He is devilishly handsome with intelligent grey eyes and a rugged beard. You want to rip his clothes off; you want to be wrapped up in his strong arms.

'I'll take it.'

You are interrupted from your daydreaming and look at him in shock.

'I didn't offer you the job yet.' You snap.

He shrugs and smirks.

'But you were going to so I thought I'd save us both the hassle of you wasting our time. I'll take it. My standard fee is sixty percent of whatever Cobb is being paid and prepaid accommodation.'

You don't know whether to agree or not. You wonder whether you should ring Cobb.

'Come on darling, surely you can do this much on your own?' he teases softly.

ooo

It's your decision, he says.

It's our decision, you say.

ooo

Loneliness is the stench that follows you. It is like a putrid black cloud that lingers around you constantly. You sit down at your desk and watch as Mal and Cobb and Eames laugh and joke and smile and touch each other. You are on the outside looking in.

Eames is a charmer.

Eames has won your family over and now you're alone. As usual.

Mal sees you staring and makes her way over to you, a concerned look in her warm, kind eyes. (How could you ever think that she would leave you behind?)

'Arthur, mon cher, come and join us. Eames is taking us out for dinner.'

You slowly shake your head and offer Mal a brief, tight smile.

'No thank you. I have to finish a report.'

'Leave it, you can have one night off.' Cobb calls over, a happy smile on his face.

'No, I'd rather finish it now. I have plans tonight regardless.' You lie smoothly, continuing to tap away incessantly at the keyboard in front of you.

'Liar.' Eames smirks.

Your eyes shoot up and lock with his angrily.

'And how could you possibly know that Mr. Eames?'

He smiles at you and shakes his head.

'Darling, you haven't had plans since I arrived here and I suspect a long time before as well. Just come with us and stop being such a stick in the mud.'

It hurts when he speaks to you like this and a part of you longs for Dom or Mal to jump to your defence but both of them are watching you sadly, both silently wishing that you would swallow your pride just this once and come with them all and have a good time.

'I have plans.' You insist before ducking your head and hiding your face so that none of them can see the numbed look in your eyes.

'Okay… Don't work too late.' Mal pleads softly before exiting the warehouse along with Cobb and Eames.

Eames looks over his shoulder at you and shakes his head slowly.

'You'll never break free from them Arthur. You love them too much.'

ooo

We love you, they say.

They need you, he says.

We need each other, you say.

ooo

Mal is a ghost. She is no longer warm or loving or kind or caring. She is angry and bitter and deceitful. You wish over and over that Cobb would just stop playing blind and see that she needs help, see that she needs someone to understand. But he's too busy now. He's in office all day and night, longer than you even. And Eames is dancing between a job here and a job in London. You had hoped somewhere deep inside of you that he would become someone you could confide in but the forger is too scattered for your liking and besides, you know that he doesn't care.

You look up as Mal approaches your desk, an empty look in her eyes, her face pallid and cold looking. It's like she is dead and just wandering about aimlessly.

'This isn't real Arthur. Ce n'est pas vrai.' She whispers.

And oh God, how you wish she was right. You wish that this wasn't the truth and that you were dreaming and that sometime soon you would just wake up and be happy in yourself and in what the world has to offer you but you are certain that that day will never come.

'This is real Mal. This is your life.'

She laughs sadly and gently touches your cheek and you shiver at the sudden contact of skin on skin.

'Arthur, you could have it so much better my dear if you had never listened to us. We poisoned you and your happiness.'

ooo

We took it away from you, they say.

It was never there to begin with, you say.

I told you so, he says.

ooo

She is dead and you will never in all your life forget the sound of Cobb's anguished sobbing as he cried down the phone to you.

'She jumped.' He whispers, looking up at you brokenly, his once bright blue eyes dull and distant looking. Not too unlike your own.

You nod and pat his knee awkwardly.

'It's not your fault.' You repeat for the millionth time.

But then who's fault is it? It's not yours, is it? It's Eames', could it be? She killed herself so is it hers? You're confused and you want to cry yourself to sleep but you know that that is just a dream because Cobb needs you now more than ever and he's lost and lonely and sad and just wants someone to hold him. Just like you have wanted for the past four years.

'I want to go to sleep.' He whispers, taking the PASIV device out of the briefcase that you had brought over.

You raise an eyebrow.

'Are you sure?' you ask gently.

Cobb nods, slowly setting up the machine.

'Yes…'

ooo

I'm scared, they say.

I'm scared, he says.

Don't be, you say.

ooo

When you make it back to your apartment, Mr. Eames is standing outside it, a terrified look in his dual coloured orbs.

'Is it true darling?' he chokes, tears falling quickly and thickly.

You nod and put your key in the door, hoping the forger won't want to come in. You need to be alone now; you need to think about what's happened and how it will affect your future with Cobb.

'Can I come in?' he asks softly, a hopeful glint in his eyes.

You sigh silently and nod.

'Fine, but take off your shoes.'

Eames does so without complaint. This surprises you. He follows you inside and sits down on your brown leather sofa, his purple shirt and green pants looking absolutely ghastly in the artificial light of the living room.

'Coffee?' you offer.

'Tea?' he asks.

And before you know where you are the two of you are tearing at each others clothes and pushing up against each other. And the hot flesh on hot flesh makes you want to cry. He kisses you all over and you feel as if you have gone to heaven and died. You are being touched and you are being wanted. And it's so pathetic that it's Sean Eames who is doing this to you but he loves you in the way that you have always wanted to be loved and fucks you like an animal and next thing you know the two of you are curled up against each other, breathing deeply, watching each other uncertainly. You don't know if this was the right thing to do.

'I'm sorry.' He whispers.

You want to ask what for but your heart is sinking as you quickly realize that he thinks that what you have done is a mistake.

'We're both adults. It's fine.'

ooo

Let's forget about it, he says.

How can I, you say.

ooo

Yesterday it was summer.

Yesterday your life changed.

ooo

You are sitting in Paris, a coffee in your hand and you are talking to Ariadne, Cobb's new architect. She is young and curious and full of questions and she reminds you of yourself when you first arrived on the scene.

'So…he was married?' she asks, leaning forward, her eyes burning with interest.

You nod and take a sip of your beverage.

'And wanted happened?'

'She died.' You say softly, hating the way your eyes prickle when you say that.

Ariadne raises her eyebrows in surprise and sits back in her seat a little.

'And what was she like? In real life.'

You take a moment before you answer her, thinking back to how you and Mal and Cobb were a happy family.

'She was lovely.'

Ariadne looks even more surprised and she sips her drink thoughtfully and you can nearly see the wheels of her mind turning as she processes this new information.

'Did you love her?'

This question does not come as a shock to you; you had always thought it would only be a matter of time before someone realized that you had fallen in love with Cobb and his family. (Eames had known.)

'Yes, as much as Cobb did.'

She shakes her head at this and looks at you in a new light.

'Your lonely.'

'Who isn't?'

ooo

It's not right, she says.

It's not wrong, you say.

ooo

He returns with his infamous swagger and looks around the warehouse in amazement.

'This is quite the little set up you have here darling.'

A year. He hasn't spoken to you in a year and when he does he acts as though nothing has happened. Cobb nods in encouragement and pats Eames on the back, introducing him to Ariadne.

'This is the team. What do you think?' he asks almost sounding fearful of Eames' reply.

'I think it's all rather perfect, isn't it?'

And you hate him. You hate that he touched you and loved you and ran. You hate that he knows what you look like and smell like and feel like. You hate that he knows what you are.

'Couldn't find anyone else?' you whisper as Cobb places paper work on your desk.

Cobb's eyes meet yours for the briefest second and you know instantly that that was the wrong question to ask.

'It's who I want.'

'What about me? Don't I get a say in any of this?' You demand and you don't know where this newfound assertiveness has come from but you really rather like it.

Cobb looks at you in confusion and shakes his head.

'No you don't. I can find a new pointsman.'

You nod and stand up from your desk.

'Well then maybe you should.'

Silence befalls the warehouse and you can see Eames watching you in concern. Ariadne is looking between you and Cobb anxiously. Cobb sighs and runs a hand over his face.

'Please Arthur…I need you.' He says so quietly that you have to strain to hear.

You pause for a moment before nodding and sitting back down behind your desk as though nothing has happened.

ooo

It'll get easier, they say.

When, you say.

Soon, he says.

ooo

You are under and you are in some sort of magical world where you can lie down on the brow of a hill and just soak up the suns rays. You are so relaxed and so at peace and you find yourself wishing, not for the first time, that everyday could be like this.

You are interrupted from the sound of your breathing by the sound of footsteps slowly make their way across the grass behind you. You sit up and turn around to see Eames standing there smiling down at you.

'So this is where you keep disappearing off to. You're supposed to be fighting projections darling, naughty naughty.' He chides teasingly, sitting down beside you.

You don't look at him, you stare at your lap instead. You are furious, how dare he follow you under.

'Have you no concept of privacy, Mr. Eames? I would much rather be here by myself.' You hiss through gritted teeth but he's not listening to you.

'It's beautiful here, did you create this yourself?' he asks in amazement.

You look up at him and see his grey eyes swivel around in his head as he attempts to take it all in.

'No. As a child there was this hill up the road from where my grandparents lived and when I needed to think or just…be, I would go there and lie down and just watch the clouds roll by.'

Eames turns and looks at you in surprise.

'Darling, that's the most you've ever told me since we met I believe.'

You shrug your shoulders and try not to blush.

'I don't like talking about myself.'

Eames nods and pushes himself closer to you, so close that you can smell his aftershave. His hot breath against your cheek makes you want to squirm but you fight the urge. He slowly presses his full lips against yours and you feel yourself melt against his touch. You push Eames back against the grass and-

You awake on the ground of the warehouse and look beside you to see Eames lying there. He turns his head and looks at you unsurely.

'Do you think we should forget-.'

You quickly shake your head and stand up, brushing yourself down.

'No Mr. Eames, no more forgetting, please.'

ooo

I can't compete with Cobb, he says.

You don't have to, you say.

ooo

You could not walk the easy road to your destiny. You dreamt the innocence of young brambles hooked to treachery. Oh the grip! Oh the grip of irregular dreams. No man escapes. It could not be that back of the hills love was free and ditches straight.

No monster hand lifted up children and put down apes. Oh God if you had been wiser. And you know now that your heart is calling Mal a liar when she told you that you didn't need anyone to feel complete. You break free from Cobb and his children and suddenly you can breathe. Suddenly you feel as if you were never alone and now you have Eames and if that is not the sweetest ending to a tragic story. He loves you and you him and the dark cloud of loneliness clears and you are finally able to see the sky above you.

The End


End file.
